A new outlook.

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Since i got back from Taiwan, I’ve had better judgement on situations and finally i was able to ring and book an appointment with a psychiatrist. I am not afraid to tell people i did this, I believe you should be open so people can appreciate it’s not just ‘for the crazies’ but that normal people, your everyday human being sometimes just needs help.

I sat in the room with the Dr and for once everything was clear to me, this was a positive step forward that I’d researched and thought about an awful lot. For around 6 months (and in varying ways further) I’ve had constant tension in my body, it’s something a massage can’t fix and a horrible feeling. Imagine tensing every muscle in your body, letting go and nothing changes. It was like a prison, there was no opportunity to rest.

The treatment is a way of resetting my body and the way it works. Below I’ll detail the ways in which it has helped and what I’ve found.

SLEEP
I told my Dr I’d stopped dreaming, that I felt sleep wasn’t useful anymore. He gave me some sleeping pills which were a fantastic help, now i get deep sleep that i dream vivdly within and i feel altogether more able to process situations, emotions and day to day upsets. I stopped taking them after a week and i still seem to get a good sleep.

ANXIETY AND TENSION
He also gave me anti anxiety medications. This helped a shed load! My body feels like mine again, I’m not full of tension, my body doesn’t feel heavy and I’m suddenly feeling altogether lighter in mind and body.

DEPRESSION
During a few of my counselling sessions, it’s been suggested i may suffer from depression and at my second appointment i was prescribed Pristiq. This medication has made everything manageable. I’ve dealt with and am still dealing with a rough start to my life’s relationships that has crushed me as a person and suddenly the world just feels brighter. It’s not a high kind of feeling, i just feel myself again, this happy, chirpy girl who has her self esteem and confidence back. At last.

SIDE EFFECTS
As i always say, I’ll always tell you both sides of the story, there’s no rose tinted spectacles here. Firstly it was a lack of appetite which i was pretty annoyed about, i have a physique that can’t deal with a few days off food. It did however leave and otherwise i haven’t noticed many other symptoms. I’m sometimes quite tired and have been napping more, but that’s manageable and I’ve been having issues with my balance, something i have suffered with for a few years, but it’s not effected me enough to warrant changing.

Overall though it’s changed who i think i am. I’m no longer the one who’s scared to go out with friends, i can cope being in uncomfortable situations and I’m not constantly wanting to jump under my duvet and hide from the world. I thank the journey for the opportunity its given me .

Never be scared to say ‘i need help’

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