Recently, a rogue caravan hit my car leaving a huge dent. This wasn’t the worst incident in the world and , if you know Birmingham at all, you’ll know that this isn’t the first time something has happened to my car… Getting it fixed over the Easter period however was an ass. I was without car for 5 days and coincidentally my MOT ran out during this time.
This lead to today, where I took the train from Birmingham to Worcester for work. At first I was annoyed, I should be able to have my car and go wherever I like. On the way there I was anxious, my leg quivering semi permanently and a feeling of not wanting to do one of my favourite things. Work.
In all my time with anxiety I have learnt that once you get me into a workshop with a group of young people, old people, anyone really, my anxiety lifts. I relax into what I’m doing and leave feeling lifted. I left my workshop with my headphones in and walked to the train station in the evening sun. I sat on the train listening to a podcast and flicking through Facebook. I then walked the almost a mile home, something I NEVER do. Whilst walking through my town I had the feeling of ‘Birmingham is my home’ and it filled me with smiles and positive thoughts.
I stopped at the chinese on the way home, egg fried rice and chinese vegetables firmly in my thoughts and now my comfort food and left with a brisk mmm-goy-sai. This was peak me. Doing it alone, living an adventure. I’d always thought of leaving Hong Kong as something less exciting and a step towards a dull life. I’ve been on one plane since I returned from Dubai and that was to Scotland, I haven’t even left the country, but my life has shifted, taken on a new meaning and purpose.
Life is not perfect all the time, bills creep up on me and sting me swiftly, but I am happy a large proportion of the time. Hong Kong taught me:
- That life in a huge city is tough and not suited for me.
- I was really ill in Hong Kong and still suffer because of that today.
- The world is not perfect. I have a drive to improve it.
- I want to advocate for the everyday person on the street.
Now not all of these were directly from Hong Kong, but it effected so much of who I am now in both positive and negative ways and although it was three years, that time has become a part of my soul.
I am me, I am proud and I am strong.